Dark Chocolate Diva

M.I.A

2010-09-29T05:34:00.004-04:00

I know I have been missing in action for while. No I haven't dropped off of the face of the earth, life has been so hectic and a bit overwhelming. Its amazing how much pressure we put on ourselves. With a 2-year-old, school full-time, husband whom I barely see because our schedules are ridiculous, my grandfather whom I have to care, add on top laundry for everyone, cleaning the house, running a million and five errands I am exhausted. I have had my share of break downs because I have these impossible expectations of myself.
Well I'm going to start do the things that gave me pleasure like updating this blog and working out, because I realize I am starting to lose myself. I refuse to be full of resentment. So to all the overworked moms you're not alone.

Make sure to check out my girl Sweet AL over at MommyDelicious if you're in need of stress relieving tips.
Be sure to follow her and enter in her GIVEAWAY

Daycare Choices

2010-07-12T17:31:00.003-04:00

Choosing the right daycare for your child can be such a daunting task for parents. So many questions run through your mind:

How will my child react?

What’s the staff really like?

What curriculum will they be teaching?

What’s the teacher-to-student ratio?

Private or Public?

What's the cost of tuition?

If you’re like me choosing, a daycare is/was a tough task. I am online researching facility after facility, making sure to tour them and see how the teachers are reacting. I prefer to do unscheduled tours where I just stop by and ask questions or information so I can see what the staff is really like. I have seen price ranges from $168 per week to $210 a week. Then there’s the private school with their various tuition rates. What’s a parent to do? I have narrowed it down to about five different places. Each has their positives and negatives. A few are out of the way, while others offer internet access so I can check on my pooka-poo whenever I want. Well as I make my decision, I ask if anyone had a difficult time choosing the right daycare.

I can't go natural beacuse....

2010-07-09T07:53:00.004-04:00

How many times has someone come up to you and said, "WOW you're natural that's great, I can't go natural because [insert reason here]"

I seem to get those comments quite often. People have many reasons why they feel they cannot go natural. I don't think it’s my place to judge because making that leap is a big decision and it took me two attempts to finally make the plunge and stick to it. I bring this up because the other day I was having a conversation with someone and she said she couldn't go natural because she would have to buy new clothes. LOL. That has to be one of the funniest comments I have heard in a while. I reassured her that her hair didn't define her style. I think many people are under the impression that to be natural you HAVE to be Afrocentric. Not the case.

Being natural to me is a choice to accept your God-given hair and enjoy it for what it is.

I don't preach about natural hair but I do encourage. I have gotten more people to become natural just by leading by example. When they make the choice to attempt to be natural, I provide them with encouragement and support on their journey.

At the end of the day, you are your own person and what makes you happy is all that matters.

So have you heard any funny reasons or have you had any interesting reasons for not being natural?

Being A Student

2010-07-07T15:47:00.005-04:00

I am glad I have the opportunity to pursue my goals and further my education. As a young mother it is difficult to manage all of my different hats: mother, wife and student. Finances aren't always the best and you feel resentment and guilt. I know that sometimes I truly hate school. I wish I was already done and in my career. I feel guilty because when I come home my son wants his mommy time. He wants me to be able to play with him those are the times I resent school. While other parents come home from work and leave their jobs at the door and can enjoy an evening with their children I have to so much to do and worry about (I am aware that not all professionals have this luxury).
What I do when I come home is play with my son, get him down for a nap, do some cleaning, get dinner started, wash the dishes after dinner, give him a bath, watch 30 minutes of TV, read a book and he's down to sleep at 9:30 (I put him down later because dad works evenings). By this time. I'm exhausted so of course I fall asleep and wake up at 4am so I can study and do homework. Its such a balancing act. I pray the day I can just be a working professional quickly approaches.

Picky Eaters

2010-07-05T16:11:00.005-04:00

My son is 2 years old (26 months to be exact). He is such a picky eater. It has been a cause for worry for me because his eating habits are awful. A few months ago, his diet was better. Nowadays, all he wants are Hot Dogs. Yes hot dogs for breakfast, lunch and dinner. So I after searching Google and speaking to his pediatrician have been reassured that this is indeed normal.
What I have done is supplemented his diet various items:

Vegetables and Fruit: He refuses to try so I purchase either V8 Fusion Fruit and Vegetables or Apple and Eve Fruitables. They provide one full serving of the necessary fruits and vegetables. Fruitables has 1/3 less sugar and is only 70 calories. He gets about (2) 9oz cups of this juice a day

Milk and Dairy: He loves Chocolate milk so I purchase the NesQuik Ready-To-Drink 8oz bottles of milk, which is about 100 calories, 12 g of sugar and made with low fat milk. He drinks 2 of these a day.

Grains: It’s difficult to get him to eat from this food group at times but when he’s up for it, he eats about 1-3oz of rice for dinner.

Vitamins:I give him Flintstones Vitamins to supplement for any vitamins or nutrients he isn’t receiving

It can be difficult to get your child to eat all things they are supposed to but with some maneuvering, they can get the nutrients they need.
Although I have said all of this, I still suggesting offering your child a variety of foods and allowing them to try. Just because he/she doesn’t like something today doesn’t mean they won’t like it tomorrow.

Swim Suits

2010-07-02T06:39:00.005-04:00

Its 4th of July weekend and its time to pull out those swimsuits. I think some care should be taken when choosing the rigth swim suits. You must find a suit that compliments YOU! Not the manequin you got it off of. Here a few swim suits to compliment your figure. These are examples od swim suits which are all from Target so they will fit into anyones's budget. Whatever you choose make sure you enjoy yourself and pack up the sunscreen.

Monokini

One-Piece

Two-Piece

Rompers

2010-06-30T06:27:00.004-04:00

The cutest (revamped) trend of 2010. I keep saying that I need to get a pair of these. They are adorable and can be dressed up or dressed down with the right accessories. The are affordable as well, you can find one to fit in any budget. I think Fourth of July may be the day for me to wear on, along with a big braid or twist out and chunky accessories.
So how do you feel about rompers?

Fab Embroidered Romper
$14.50
Forever21

Kouture by Kimora Romper, Sleeveless Scoop Printed Racerback Romper
MACYS

Silk One Shoulder Romper
$129.00
bebe

Fros on the Fourth

2010-06-30T06:24:00.002-04:00

OK...Passing along the word.... taken from www.keepitsimplesista.blogspot.com

So what if we took over July 4th and made it National Afro Day ...and
we go to all the cookouts, firework display, and family events with
our fros big and beautiful?

Wear your afro tees and natural hair shirts and all that good junk.

And all you relaxed ladies can join in too do a braid out and fluff it out real big!
Let's do this!

A logo for the event, feel free to use it for your website, blog or to make your own iron on transfer shirt.

Rocking Shoes

2010-06-29T18:28:00.003-04:00

Eva Marcille had some fabulous shoes on at the BET Awards by Gasoline Glamour, they came with a stylish price tag of $3000. Ah, a girl can dream.

Potty Training

2010-06-29T18:06:00.003-04:00

My son is 2years, 1 month old. I have been trying to potty train him. It seemed like he was ready a few months ago and would tell me if he needs to go. Now he’s no longer in the “mood” LO. Over the weekend, I tried the “No Diaper” method where I let him roam bottomless around the house. It worked, sort of. He actually held it most of the day, he wasn’t pottying throughout the house and if he had to go number 2, he’s let me know but that was it. It left him and I frustrated. I have vowed to just let him be. I have heard that at times, you have to let them come into their own and I guess I’ll just have to be patient. He knows what the potty is he’s just not interested. What potty training method has worked? Hasn’t worked for you?

Workout Slump

2010-06-29T06:32:00.003-04:00

This morning I woke with every intention to workout. My son had other plans, he decided to wake up too and STAY up for an hour?! Which in turn made me dose off trying to put him back to sleep. Well I guess better luck tomorrow...
It seems like every time I get back on my workout regimen something knocks me off track. Maybe I'm not diligent enough. Let change that to definitely not diligent. Its a work in progress. I get easily bored of the same exercise routine so I am always on the search for something new...
What do you do when you find yourself in a workout slump?

Falls Bone Chilling Preview

2010-06-26T20:19:00.004-04:00

I am a sucker for cute shoes and handbags. I love shoes that are especially unique. These 160MM Nappa Spine Heel Ankle Boots by D.Squared are no exception. They are set to be release this fall.

These shoes are way out of budget for me....But a girl can dream

If you want to see this and other shoes by D.Squared click the link below

http://www.luisaviaroma.com/index.aspx#getData.aspxCallType=Product&prodId=L4Z2&des=117&cat=&gender=women&group=&vendorColor=MjA=&season=actual&seasProdID=52I

Heat damage

2010-06-26T11:52:00.003-04:00

Heat damage is prevalent in many new naturals because some tend to be at a loss of how to style their hair. I know that for me this is the case. Although I have cleaned up my act, I have suffered damage in only one spot. It’s a small patch in the front of my hair. It’s completely damaged. So now, what I do is use two heat protectants and a serum. The serum I use as a finishing product.
I deep condition with my Cholesterol and use a leave in conditioner then I use:
John Frieda Frizz-Ease Heat Defeat Protective Styling Spray followed by GVP Thermal Protection Spray and finish up with John Frieda Frizz-Ease Hair Serum, Thermal Protection Formula.
It may be excessive for some but it has truly helped me combat heat damage. It doesn’t matter what protectant you use as long as you use one.

To Weave or Not to Weave

2010-06-26T10:25:00.006-04:00

Ok...I think I have finally gotten a true handle on being natural. Most important things that can be done for natural hair is Moisture and Protective Styling (protein is necessary as well). I'm still struggling with finding protective styles that I like to wear. My protective style as of late has been weaves. I love the versatility. Wearing a weave has its advantages and disadvantages.

Advantage: It’s a good protective style if you are constantly moisturizing the hair underneath, which I do with SCurl spray.
I only leave my weaves on for about a week. Take it down deep condition my hair with Cholesterol use a leave in conditioner like H.E. Long Term Relationship or Giovanni Direct.

I seal my ends with Shea Butter, braid my hair up, and start again.

Disadvantage: People (I’ve been guilty of this in the past) tend to neglect their hair underneath. If you aren’t moisturizing your hair, the weave and thread are sucking out additional moisture making this an unfavorable environment for your hair. Not deep conditioning and not handling the weave with care puts extra stress on your hair.

Disadvantage: If you get a straight, weave and you leave your hair out. You are compelled to straighten your hair. This can lead to heat damage, especially if you aren’t using a heat protectant and straightening dirty hair.
Therefore, if you are looking for a good protective style weaving is an option but it has to be done with care. Just because your hair is natural, it won’t just grow on its own if it not taking care of, a weave is not a hair neglect pass. So good luck and happy weaving.

Favoritism

2010-06-21T21:19:00.001-04:00

The issue of favoritism is one that truly gets under my skin. I feel that it puts a divide amongst children, which can have long lasting effect. I’ll use my family as an example. My grandmother favored one of my cousins because of the length of her hair and the complexion of her skin. It put a wedge amongst the cousins and between her and her siblings. My grandmothers comments, which she thought were innocent, hurt feelings and made some self-conscious. As a parent, I have sworn never to do this to my children or future nieces and nephews. Although my husband agrees with me on this issue and see what a negative impact this can be others aren’t so “aware”. I have heard comments made and actions displayed that have made me uncomfortable and I feel may lead to future issues when my child and his cousins are more able to understand the magnitude of the comments being made. Sometimes I wonder am I being overly sensitive when comments are made comparing my son to others, for example his complexion or hair texture or the fact that he’s the only boy. I don’t want there to be any animosity. So do you believe favoritism is an issue? If so how do you deal with it?

You're Just Not "Together"

2010-06-18T05:57:00.003-04:00

Have you noticed that there are some of your friends, who have no kids or aren’t married, that can’t seem to understand you anymore? Well the other day I was having a frustrated mommy moment. I called my friend up to vent and as we were talking the conversation led to the idea of having more children. I do want more children and would love for my children to be close in age. My friend stated, I was being “unrealistic” and SHE didn’t think I should “lie down” and have another child since my life wasn’t “together”. WOW, Really?! My life may not be idea for some but I wouldn’t trade it. I love my son and I would love to have more children. I am blessed to have a husband to support me through any endeavor I would like to embark upon. My friend has a bachelors is working on her masters and has decided this is not what she wants to be doing. Therefore, she’s going to start a new path, which will take her another 4 years. That’s fine FOR HER! She is not married, in a relationship nor does she have children so she’s free to do as she pleases with worrying about how her actions affect anyone but herself. Although I want to have a career, I want be a mom and a wife as well. I want to enjoy my child(ren). I want to give my son as normal of a life as possible. My friends comments did hurt my feelings a bit but whether she or anyone else thinks my life is together or not, is irrelevant to me I know who I am and what I want and I intend on getting it.

Sex And The City II....

2010-06-01T20:51:00.003-04:00

LOVED IT!
I am a big fan of SATC. I was so excited about the new movie. I have heard mixed reviews about this movie. I enjoyed this movie. I think people expect too much of the movie. Seriously, the movie is an extension the show that followed everyday women in the daily lives. The movie has to remain true.
Ok as far as fashion in this movie, it was to DIE FOR! I swear the movie make you feel like you need to have a pen and pad to take notes of all the fashion do and don'ts LOL. I was able to relate to so many things in this movie.
What I got out of the movie was this:

First, don't allow anyone to define you or your relationship. There are so many ways to have a successful relationship you find what works for you and enjoy.

Second, you don’t have to be perfect. Charlotte's character aims for perfection, I’m known for this. It’s ok if everything isn’t perfect and as a mother, you need a break. The truth of the matter is that you're not going to be happy with your children 100% of the time they will frustrate you and that’s ok. It doesn’t make you a bad parent it makes you human.

So this will be a DVD added to my collection when it comes out.
If you haven’t seen it, get dressed up go with your girls and have a good laugh...

I'm Back...

2010-06-01T20:44:00.003-04:00

I have really neglected this blog. There have been so many changes in my life.I am going to get bette because writing really gives me an outlet. Well as for updates:

Fitness: I fell off my regimen slightly

Hair: I have been hiding my hair by wearing weaves. I was caught in the comfort of weaves where you sometime neglect you own hair. As of late, I have been making sure to take my hair out once a week. Yes, you read right. I remove the weaves once a week wash and deep condition my hair. It has been doing well. My hair feels good. I recently trimmed it. I was due for a quick trim.

Career: I have been in school since March working towards my goals. I am very proud of myself for being able to manage a household, toddler, husband and elderly person and still maintain good grades. I am one-step closer to my ultimate goal and very proud of myself.

Faith: I have returned to church. I am becoming better with my faith. I feel that I am truly evolving into the woman I always wanted to be.

Slimmer in 7 Days - Fitness Magazine

2010-03-18T17:19:00.000-04:00

Slimmer in 7 Days - Fitness Magazine

Best Mommy Advice

2010-02-27T00:11:00.005-05:00

It seems that women become pregnant in packs. LOL. Yes, its true do you ever notice that you never just hear of only one person you know being pregnant. When I was pregnant with my son, my sister-in-law and three of my other friends were pregnant. Not to mention two of my hubby's friends' wives/girlfriends were also pregnant. Now about 2 years later I have four friends that are pregnant. I always give women the same advice. Be patient; develop a schedule with your child early (it truly does help) and most importantly BREASTFEED! Yes, I emphasize the importance of breastfeeding, whether a friend is just finding out they are pregnant or at the end of her pregnancy, she can guarantee that I'm going to tell her to breastfeed, and I will keep reminding them. I encourage them to utilize lactation consultants after giving birth and reading books prior. When I was pregnant, I had 2-3 pregnancy books on rotation, not to mention my weekly updates from the Babycenter.com. Reading is so important being informed it key. I have seen so many of my friends give up on breastfeeding because they were ill prepared. I’m not saying that I was entirely prepared for motherhood (seriously who really is) but I knew many of the things that could happen. With breastfeeding, women expect it to be blissful from the beginning, it is and it isn’t. It’s beautiful to connect with your child, but the first few days to weeks of breastfeeding can be painful because the suckling of the baby causes contractions of the uterus that can be uncomfortable. There is the swelling and gorging of the breast, ice packs work wonders. The place I see so many mothers go wrong and the reason the give up breastfeeding is because they start wrong. They do not get their babies to latch on correctly. Although I had read a lot I still requested a lactation consultant to come in and she corrected my sons method of latching she even informed my hubby of how to help me open the baby’s mouth wider (by placing index finger on chin and slightly pulling, not hard). With hubby, assisting me the first 24 hours with baby’s mouth positioning, things started and remained great. Improper latching can lead to so many problems the baby not being able to get the milk easily, mom uncomfortable thus making baby uncomfortable, which in turn results in giving up and moving on to formula. I have heard of people giving up in 2 weeks, cracked nipples, the list goes on. Thankfully, I didn’t have any of these issues. Actually, the hardest part about breastfeeding for me was weaning. LOL. I nursed for 15 months. So to all my first-time moms and veteran moms (LOL) if you haven’t done so, consider breastfeeding. The benefits for mother and child are outstanding.

Be good to your hair....

2010-02-26T23:31:00.005-05:00

Ok, I know I'm all for taking care of my hair. Making sure the moisture/protein scale is balanced, use of more organic products and low manipulation. All of these are great for my hair. Yet the other day I had to trim my ends because I had a few split ends. Now why would I have split ends you ask? Aren’t you doing everything you're supposed to do? The answer is NO.
My diet isn’t the greatest but its getting there and my fitness level is finally back on track. So what am I missing?
Patience....
Yes patience, I am guilty of not being patient with my hair. I know I'm supposed to take my time and detangle section by section. I don't always do it. Why? The answer I have a busy life, a 22 month old, a husband, housework, errands and my grandfather to take care of. My plate is on the full side and come a few months (god willing) we can add student back in (had to take time off to deal with some family issues). So sometimes, I'm guilty of ripping the comb thru my hair and not fully detangling. I am trying to get better and the fact that I had to trim my hair made me realize it’s necessary for me to take my time. I know that there is a debate on how often a person should trim their hair. My personal opinion is trim ONLY as NEEDED.
Here’s why I say this: Ok the average person grows about 1/2 inch hair a month, so that’s about 6 inches a year (this is only an average). Therefore, if you are trimming 1-2 inches of hair every 4-6 weeks, how will you ever see length or progress, you're cutting it off. I think trims should be used to alleviate split ends, other than that they serve no purpose (in my opinion) Our hair grows from our scalp not our ends so why would certain people believe that trim their hair helps it grow. The only way trimming helps your hair grow is because it stops split ends from travelling up the shaft and causing major damage.

So I say all this to say be patient and take your time when dealing with hair, and trim as needed. Good Luck and Happy Growing

Giovanni Direct Leave-In

2010-02-26T01:17:00.003-05:00

Purchased this about a week and a half ago. I love it. I use it as a daily mositurizer and my hair is in love with it. I used it on my pumpkins hair (my 22 month old) and its great!!
Great product, great thickness, great mositure.
Overall Good Investment

Nappiversary (Nappy Anniversary)

2010-02-18T02:49:00.004-05:00

February 16TH has made it one year since I officially BC and started on my 100% natural journey. I have had my share of ups and downs. Well I couldn’t celebrate because I had tons of laundry, a rambunctious toddler and a house to clean. So last night I gave myself a deep conditioning treatment using Lustrasilk Cholesterol and added olive oil. I then added heat and a plastic cap and slept on it for a fewer hours (about 4). When I rinsed it out, I noticed some shedding (dreaded winter cold). However, I realized I haven’t done a protein treatment in forever so my scale was tipping in the moisture side, which isn’t so bad, but it was heavy on that side. Therefore, I decided to whip up something. I didn’t measure anything out because I was in a rush. While I had Giovanni Tea Tree conditioner in my hair, I added this mixture:

• 3-4 scoops of real mayo
• 1 egg
• Olive oil (don’t know exactly how much)
• Honey (don’t know how much)

I mixed these all up, applied to hair left it on for about 5-10 minutes. I rinsed with Giovanni Tea Tree shampoo (mistake, it’s kind of drying I should have used my Carol’s Daughter Tui). I made sure to rinse with cold water (didn’t want an omelet in my hair). I rinsed and then finished off with Tui Hair Smoothie. For the most part my hair feels great. I have slight shedding but I guess I’m ok. I’m going to blame it on the dreaded cold.
Overall, I can say that going natural was a great decision. I have learned so much about myself during this time and being natural has inspired me to evaluate different aspects of my life. I am such an advocate, always trying to convince friends and family to make the leap. I will admit it’s not easy and sometimes you don’t get it right the first time around. This is actually my second attempt, but the only one with a BC. One of my friends transitioned for about a year and then decided to relax, incidentally I hadn’t spoken to her in months, and when I did, she had given in a few days prior to the relaxer. She has decided to start her journey again. Being natural isn’t a hairstyle it’s a way of life and it takes some adjustment. So I tell anyone who is considering being natural to take their time, don’t get discouraged and be patient. Good Luck! As for me I’m sipping on Green Tea and hopeful to see many naturalistic (entirely: mind, body and soul) years to come.

To diet or not to diet....

2010-02-11T01:57:00.004-05:00

As soon as people think of losing weight they think, I have to get on a Diet. They try the latest fad, get bored and after a few weeks they're back to their old routines. I think the best way to lose weight is to change your lifestyle. I’m imploring this new method. I don't want to spend my entire life calorie counting. Sheesh! (how much fun is that really?) Anyway I was reading an article on MSN not too long ago (the name escapes me) about the affects of dieting on our children. It stated that constant obsession with weight and the lack of satisfaction with body image can in turn set a bad example of self-image for our daughters. I agree, I think if we as women are always complaining about how we look and are always talking about dieting. It’s not good for our children or for us. I have decided that I should just incorporate exercise into my daily life, like 3-5 times a week for at least 30 minutes. I cook well in my opinion I use olive oil, I do not fry foods, and I rather bake. I make more changes like substituting ground turkey for red meat, also adding more fish to my diet and drinking more water. I find that if you keep a big bottle of water near you all day, you will constantly drink water, thus making the goal of 8-10 glasses of water more attainable. See simple changes are what truly count and will guarantee better health. So what have we learned? We need to look at our bodies in a positive light, so how do we do this. Everyday look in the mirror and find at least one thing you like about your body. Also, make lifestyle changes instead of dieting. Good Luck and be healthy!

Routine a must

2010-02-10T01:21:00.007-05:00

Its funny prior to children a routine seems optional. After having them, it is so MANDATORY. LOL. My grandma went into the hospital and has unfortunately passed. We had her funeral Saturday. I didn't get to attend but 20 minutes of it because I was getting things ready at the house for guests. Anyway, due to the fact my grandma was in the hospital for about 6 days prior to passing. Followed by having guests in our home for 4 days my life became a chaotic resemblance of what I have been accustomed. While it was great to see family, having them there threw my son off schedule that he began to act out.
These pass 10 days made me realize how important our routine really is. After everyone left, my son became moody, unresponsive to certain commands and more of a handful. As this week goes by and mom is able to spend time with him, wake up with him during his normal waking up time, feed him during his normal times, reinforce all of my rules for discipline, normal naptimes and bed times he's calming down and returning to my sweet little boy. Granted he's still a bubbly bouncing toddler but now he’s one who actually listens.
I think routines make children comfortable because they know what to expect. There aren’t constant surprises. Routines aid in development. I found that when my son's routine is rock solid he learns better. I have time to teach him new things; he's relaxed and more responsive. When teaching children, in my opinion, it’s a better experience when the child is in a positive mood they are more receptive. So I ask, how important is a routine in your life?

Explaining Death

2010-01-28T23:52:00.003-05:00

How do you explain death to children? What age is appopriate to tell them about someone passing? My grandmother hasn't passed but the doctors have pretty much given up on her. They have told us that it it pretty much ineveitable at this point. My son is 20 months old. I don't think I should say anything because I don't think he would understand. So I ask the question how do you explain death? Also is it necessary for my 20 month old to a funeral? Being a mother is about providing guidance and support even when you don't know what to guide and how to support this. I pray and hope the Lord see me through this difficult time.

Lessons Learned

2010-01-28T23:51:00.001-05:00

Wow! 2010 has come in and it sure is leaving it mark. I don't think this year will ever really leave my mind and the sad thing is we aren't even out of the first month. Well 2010 rang in and I remember tell my grandparents (my mother’s god-parents) Wow you guys see 2010 you made it to another decade, they are 86 and 87. As the days went by things seemed great, I was just recovering from an exhausting holiday season we took pictures and laughed. My son enjoyed seeing the grands daily running, hugs and kisses. They enjoyed his youth and loved to see him explore. Well Jan 12th came and so did the horrendous earthquake of Haiti. My mother’s mom, my 2 aunts and 3 cousins were all caught in the devastation leaving us in a limbo of uncertainty for about 2-3 days. Our family is recovering from it for the most part.
This morning started off simple enough, my son went to play with the grands. He laughed ran around, gave them hugs and climbed in bed with them. I could hear their laughter’s from down the hall. My grandma decided to go to a shower and shortly after, I could hear her calling my name. She was telling me she felt her left side going numb. Her face looked fine and I reassured her she was all right. She said she didn’t feel ok. So we agreed to call emergency response. They came and she said the numbness was getting worse. We went to the hospital I saw her for a second she spoke and asked me to bring something from home for her and that was the last thing she said to me. Things got worse instantly. The CAT scan revealed she had bleeding in her brain, a vessel had burst in her brain and she was having a bleeding stroke. Then the tube was placed in her throat. Next thing I knew we were being asked about final wishes, if we wanted a DNR. We were told that the neurosurgeon wouldn’t perform surgery there was nothing they could do to alleviate pressure on her brain. Then she was and still is in a coma; all of this in a period of 4 hrs.
I keep thinking to myself that can’t be it. Not like that. How can we just be talking and laughing and then this? I believe we're to learn these life lessons and I wonder what this month of January has taught me. Do we really learn from death? I have learned to take things slowly and to calm down, tomorrow isn’t promised and to tell people you love them. We make me wonder is I’m always saying I love you but I can’t remember the last time I said it to her.

Getting In Shape

2010-01-27T16:13:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year when everyone is obsessed with losing weight for the New Year. Well I refuse to start working out quite yet. I have been running after my son as usual, trying to figure out what my next step is, and helping hubby and family. The list goes on a mile. Anyway, I decided to wait until next week when everyone else falls off the wagon and I can have the parks and walking trails when they are not as packed. Trust me it can be nice to work out in a group but as a mom who seems to always have my phone ringing with advice needed from somewhere or errands needing to be done, I enjoy the quiet of putting on my IPOD, strapping the baby into the jogging stroller, lacing up my sneakers and being at peace.

I am also going back to my Jillian Michaels regimen. I love her. She really gives you a workout and trust you don’t get bored. I realize that many people (and I previously) have been stuck on getting on a diet. I am interested in making lifestyle changes. I have concluded I am a southern girl who loves to cook and loves to eat. I am destined to be overweight IF I do not stay on top of things. My plans for my future don’t include me counting calories forever. So I say to you enjoy life, if you can fit in 20-30 minutes of exercise in a day you’re on the right track. I know it’s hard to get outdoors, if you have a chance check out Craigslist and get a used treadmill, exercise bike or elliptical machine. Also, try Wal-Mart they have some machines for about $100. Put it in a place you can’t miss like near the living room. When you are tuning in to watch Grey’s Anatomy, House or whatever show you just can’t live without, hop on for a 20 minutes and enjoy. Good Luck!

Product Review

2010-01-27T15:41:00.001-05:00

Carol's Daughter Tui hair collection. Absolutely love it!!! Here's the thing I have been looking at her products for the past 5 years (I know a long time). It seems like whenever I'm ready to try it I hear a bad review, someone saying her products are overrated or that the formula has changed. So I took my time and waited. Well a few weeks ago I purchased Tui Gift Set at Sephora. It included the Tui Herbal Shampoo, Tui Hair Smoothie, Tui Hair oil and Hair Milk. Let me let you know how wonderful this stuff really is. The smell is intoxicating.

I started with a fresh pallet, I rinsed my hair with baking soda and water. I then shampooed with the Tui Herbal Shampoo, it lathers up wonderfully. Then I used the Hair Smoothie, left it on for about 15 mins and rinsed with warm water about 90% of it out then added a cold water burst. Now the first time I did it, I just did a twist set with the Hair Milk my results really sucked.!!! (yea you read right it sucked)

So I rewashed my hair the next day this time adding Hair Oil to my hair prior to washing, followed the steps, here's what I did change: while my hair was still wet I applied Shea Butter and then sealed with Hair Milk. I did my twist out and it was fabulous!!!

Sometimes you have to tweak products use the new with the old and you can truly achieve great results.

These are my staples. Simple!

Tui Shampoo, Hair Oil, Smoothie, Shea Butter and Hair Milk. Its helped keep my hair moisturized during these cold winter months.

Welcome Back

2010-01-26T18:49:00.000-05:00

I haven't been on here in such a long time its crazy. Well I am almost at my 1 year Nappy-Anniversary and I couldn't be happier. Time really does fly. I have my progress pics, and I swear if I didn't take any pictures I would think my hair never grew. LOL.

Somewhere along my hiatus I loss myself, I was questioning a lot so I wore a lot of weaves for a while. It was a great protective style, but I wore a lot of straight hair so I suffered from some heat damage in the front area. So I went back to twisting my hair, which works for me. No fuss get up and go...I have so much to say I'm bursting at the seems...LOL. Stay tuned.

Henna

2009-08-14T21:23:00.000-04:00

I have been MIA for a while, I have had a lot going on, getting ready for the fall semester to start up. Any who I have been wanting to try henna for a while now. I have been researching this info for a while hennaforhair.com is a great site with great info.

Well I tried a simple mix of Water, Lime Juice and Honey. I left the Henna sit for about 5 hours. Then I just applied it to my hair. I'm going to leave it on over night. I'll see what happens. Have my fingers crossed.

I'll update tomorrow

Teaching Boys to be Men

2009-07-30T21:32:00.000-04:00

As a parent I strive to do the best I can when it comes to raising my child. Give him an opportunity to be successful and reach for the stars. I want to be supportive, dependable and consistent in his life. Raising children can be difficult but in my opinion its a wonderful experience. I say difficult because you know every decision you make effects your children and you want to do the best possible job.

I feel that in the African American community people put so much pressure on little boys about being men. We want our boys to not be "weak", by showing emotion, we put more focus and attention in protecting the females and leave the boys with the mentality they should be able to figure out life on their own. I have seen many occasions where parents have enforced school and education on their daughters and have not done the same with their sons. I think if we are to blame the plight of the Black man on anyone, we should first look at the parents and the community. We don't put emphasis on boys, we don't cater to them like we do our girls. We don't take the extra time needed to help them in school. But I do notice that when boys play sports that's when they get the most attention as opposed to when they do well in school. We expect our boys to fend for themselves and learn to be men but no one wants to teach them HOW to be men.

I bring this fact up because I have a 14 month old boy, he is very affectionate. His father and I are affectionate towards him, we try to teach him to be kind to others. Although he's 14 months old hes beginning to understand. The other day I took my son to the park like I usually do. There was little girl at the park of another race with her mother. My son walked up to the little girl, I instinctively jumped up because I know some parents are not comfortable with other children around their kids especially ones they do not know. The mother looked at me and was like Oh no hes fine, so my son proceeded to point to her eyes and say I,I,I (it sounds just like that lol) I smiled and reassured him he was right those were her eyes. He pointed to her mouth and say BA BA (the sound you make when you kiss lol) and I smiled next he leaned over and hugged her. I noticed that as my son leaned in to hug the little girl her mother grabbed at the back of his shirt.
Now I didn't want to make a scene, I just said Hug to reassure my son he hadn't done anything wrong. I grabbed him and proceeded to take him to the other side of the park.
I try not to let people (ignorant people) upset my mood. Did she really think my son would hurt her child after he had been so nice and gentle? He had reached for the little girls hands. He's an only child and loves interacting with other children. I wonder if the stereotype of black man being mean, stoic and aggressive has trickled all the way down to our babies????
I pray not because if this woman was afraid of my child that is 14 months old, how do other people in society feel? Is this the reason why so many of our youth are failing in schools because teachers are afraid of them?
So I am asking parents out there to evaluate how we are raising our young men, are we giving them that little bit of extra attention they need, are we teaching them to be strong men, are we teaching them that its OK to be affectionate and its necessary to gentlemen?

So what do you think?

I'll give my 2 cents

2009-07-28T23:42:00.000-04:00

Ok, Everywhere you turn someone is discussing the Gates situation. You cannot run from this topic so I'll give my two cents. I can see both sides of this story. Before I get stones thrown at me, allow me to explain. Henry Louis Gates is a Harvard professor and I guess in his mind due to his position and socioeconomic status he feels that he should be exempt from certain situations. I understand that Yes, he did have ID and that he presented to the officer, but you have to also understand that the officer was called he didn't just ride down the street and decide to profile him, he was doing his job. Now here's a possibility, there are many people who don't immediately change their IDs after they move from their homes so Gates could still have been trespassing. Also what if Gates had a domestic charge filed on him for assaulting his wife and he was in violation of a restraining order? So the officer asking him to step out would have been justified. I am not saying that either of these two scenarios were what the officer was considering but if he was thinking this he acted correctly. From what I have heard the office did request backup and in my mind he seemed to have every intention of arresting Gates, which I would consider quite excessive. Now Gates I understand his frustration, he felt that a man of his stature should not have been subject to this treatment. Unfortunately this is the case in the world we live in and I guarantee that if Gates was an "average" 60 something year-old man who worked in a steel mill this story would not have gotten this much publicity. We as African Americans strive to become successful, put ourselves in another bracket so we wont be judged like "other" Black people but the sad truth is we are still seen to many as just a threatening Black person.

I'll give you an example I know of an incident that occurred with an African American judge (I wont reveal the name or location of the judge) who was having a discussion with his wife in their home a neighbor heard them and "mistook" the situation as the judge beating his wife so the police were called to the residence. Now the officers arrived and the judge told them that there was no reason for the visit he told him that his wife and him were just having a discussion the police insisted on asking the judge to step outside of his home repeatedly. The judge decide that he didn't deserve to be spoken to in this manor and slammed the door in the officers face. Now this incident could have went in many different direction but it didn't. The judge was treated like any "average " black person. At the end of the day yes it sucks that we are treated like this and I wish it weren't the case but it is. It would have been better if Gates did as the officer requested and filed a complaint later if he felt that he was treated unfairly. Colin Powell stated that he himself has been profiled and he believes that Gates could have handled the situation differently.

So what do you think would have been the best way for this situation to be handled?

Black In America 2

2009-07-23T22:04:00.000-04:00

Been MIA for a second, I've had a lot on my mind as of late. One of the biggest things is revamping my lifestyle. I want to become more active....I'll elaborate further later.

Back to the topic at hand, I have been waiting to see Black In America 2 It was interesting to see all the different programs that are being offered to the Black Community and yet it was evident to see that we are lacking in some aspects but we are slowly but surely making a change.

I have such a high level of respect for the Principal of Capital Prep School he has shown an extreme dedication that I wish more schools would demonstrate. Seeing him inspired me to want to do better in my own academic career. I wish there were more teachers, counselors, mentors and principals like this Principal. So many of our youth especially young men would be headed in a better direction earlier instead of later in life. I went to a HBCU for 2 years and it was great to see all the potential in those classrooms but what was sad was seeing the female to male ratio in these classes.

Overall I loved the presentation it was inspiring, I loved to see my community being uplifted, I loved to see all the successful and up and coming people.

To Run or Not To Run

2009-07-14T17:02:00.000-04:00

For as long as I can think I have envied runners. Their freedom, how they grace through the streets without a care just focused on the pit, pat, pit, pat of their running shoes, oblivious to what the rest of the world is going through. I long to be among them to be able to have that peaceful glow. That look of accomplishment after they have reached a new record. So as I sit here I am contemplating becoming a runner. But being the nerd that I am researching the best methods to become a runner and stay a runner. One place I can say thus far that has provided me with great info and a great plan on achieving my goal is Runnersworld.com.

I am excited on embarking on a new journey. I think once I get a hoold on some running, I'll incorporate Yoga in my routine, because I am in desperate need of meditation.

Healthier Me

2009-07-14T16:51:00.000-04:00

I've been absent for a bit, just trying to reflect on some life decisions. Wondering which path to take. I have been focused on school/career options, family needs, finances and my hair. But what I am lacking on is fitness. In the beginning of this year I had been quite active. I had even started jogging and working out 3-4 times a week. I felt great endorphins were on high. I love the 30 Day Shred By Jillian Michael I loved it she knows how to really work you out. But we all know what happens. Life gets in the way. I was forced into an unexpected move and trying to get adjusted, my 1 year-old was trying to get adjusted to a new environment and hubby finding a job and me having to transfer schools. My health was placed on the backburner.
So wiht life starting to finally settle down I am in desperate need of a routine. The Taurus in me is dying for some structured schedule. I have OCD (I swear I do), and I need everything to be on a schedule so that I know whats suppose to happen when and it helps my son as well...
But anywho...I'm moving on to being just a tad bit selfish...Getting ME on track.

Diamond...

2009-07-08T21:08:00.000-04:00

Well for those that don't know I call my hair Diamond. She has a mind of her own. LOL. So recently I had taken out my extensions with the mission to reacquaint myself with Diamond. Since I decided to go natural I have pretty much hid her away, she was on what I call Twist Arrest. LOL.

Well the pass few days I have been going to stores looking at different products, going online and have been in heavy research mode.
I tried a coconut/olive hot oil treatment. It was okay. I left it in overnight. I may try this again.

Now the GREAT!!! part:

* I purchase Roux Porosity Control Corrector & Conditioner, its suppose to restore the pH level in your hair. Its recommended to be used prior to a chemical process. I decided to use it just because I felt that I kept adding moisturizers to my hair and kept ending up with dry hair so I felt I needed to restore my hairs pH level. When rinsing this out of your hair you can already feel a great difference.

* Then I shampooed with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration my hair was a little on the dry side even though this is suppose to be a moisturizing shampoo but it tends to still be a little drying. I think I may tweak this or just switch it up to Whole Foods 365 or Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose since I can't seem to find the Cream of Nature original formula anywhere.

* Next I went back to my staple line Aussie Moist (love, love, love) 3 Minute Miracle, left it in as instructed then rinsed warm and finished off with a cold water rinse to seal and add a little shine.

* Then back to the staple again Aussie Moist Conditioner, I used about a quarter sized amount of conditioner on soaking wet hair raked it through my hair (I forgot to mention I used my CVS denman to do de-tangle)

* Finally I got a good sized amount of Eco Styler Krystal Styling Gel and raked it through, making sure I reached every inch of my hair. My hair just started defining (clumping), the gel gave my hair the necessary weight to define and my hair wasn't really hard.

My hair came out great I was so excited. Today was the first day I really LOVED Diamond, for the first time in a long time I was really happy that I made the decision to be natural

Shea Butter

2009-07-06T23:23:00.000-04:00

Well I was doing research on Shea Butter because since I have been using it for over a 1 year and a half and I loving it I just wanted to know more. What I find quite interesting is that there is actually an institute for Shea Butter called American Shea Butter Institute http://sheainstitute.com/.

Now some background history Shea Butter can vary in color from slightly yellowish to an ivory almost white color. The most popular type of Shea Butter is the type derived from West Africa. Shea has many benefits that range from moisturizing skin and hair to treating different skin ailments to also being used as a anti-inflammatory. My family and I use it on a daily basis, My hubby has severe dry skin and the only thing that has seemed to work for him has been Shea butter, my son who 14 months old I use it in his hair. Sometimes I add a little water and use the Shea to seal in the moisture/moisturizer. I used on my stomach while pregnant and I use it in my hair. She butter is quite beneficial and I have noticed more and products adding Shea and opting not to use Cocoa Butter which was once considered quite a staple for a lot of products. I tend to purchase my Shea from the African vendors and there are a few BSS (beauty supply stores) that have Shea.

I'd recommend to anyone to give Shea butter a try, you may not like it in your hair, but you just may like it on your skin.

~Smoochez

Aussie Moist

2009-07-06T23:09:00.001-04:00

Hello,
OK today I took down my twist extensions. I washed my hair with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration (HEHH) shampoo and then I conditioned with Aussie Moist conditioner (I absolutely love this).
I decided to try the Aussie Deeeep 3 Minute Miracle, my hair felt great. (Target for under $4). I left it in for about 5 minutes. So after rinsing out my hair still felt pretty nice. I wanted to attempt a twist out. So on wet hair I added Aussie Moist Conditioner and de-tangled with my CVS version Denman brush and my hair felt nice. I am waiting to untwist my hair tomorrow morning but to be honest I don't like how my hair feels. The back feels soft but my hair looks dull and dry. I guess I'm still working on my combination of products. Maybe I should have sealed my ends with Shea Butter, but I was in a rush. If you are in need for a good moisturizer Aussie definitely delivers a good punch. I use the AMC for my occasional co-washes (conditioner washes) even while in extensions
Well I'm back to the drawing Boards. But Aussie Conditioners are keepers for now.

Something New

2009-07-03T21:03:00.001-04:00

Ok...I'm blogging on my blackberry, guess there's a first time for everything. LOL. Its Friday night the night before the 4th of July and I can't wait to take my son to the zoo tomorrow. Its his first trip, so I'm charging up the rechargable batteries for the digital camera.
Anywho, I'm going off on a tangent. I just watched the movie Something New starring Sanaa Lathan. I love that movie, hadn't seen it in a while and it left me grinning from ear to ear. Its amazing how much we as african americans put so much pressure on one another. I love the fact Sanaa decided to ditch the weave.
Her relationship with "Brian" filled that void she was feeling. Gave her laughter and allowed her to let go of inhibitions. I think that's a great example of how many naturals view their relationships with their hair. At least that's how I feel about my hair (maybe I should giver her a name...Diamond) well my relationship with Diamond is definetly Something New. I love her and I feel free when I'm with her and only her no extras added. We're a force to be reckoned with.

My Natural Hair

2009-07-03T00:15:00.000-04:00

Natural, Natural, Natural it seems that everywhere you turn you hear those words being uttered. Merriam-Webster has approximately 15 variations of the definition for Natural I chose my favorite of these: living in or as if in a state of nature untouched by the influences of civilization and society.

This definition was interesting because it dealt with influence of civilization and society. In the African American community there are many issues that tend to divide us, issues that seem to affect mainly our race (don't get me wrong there are other races/countries that have their own issues of division) complexion issues, hair issues, class issues and the list goes on. I'm touching on one issue and that's hair issues.

I am completely natural (chemically free), this is my second time going natural the first time was 5 years ago and I got fed up and frustrated and decided to return to relaxing my hair so that it could be more "manageable" Now I have noticed on my natural journey there seems to be a divide among natural haired women and chemically relaxed/texturized women (not among them all). There are some Natural haired women who feel that woman who chemically alter their hair suffer from an identity crisis and these women are trying to live up to European ideas of beauty. Some of these natural women have been quite belligerent at times. In my opinion if a women decides to chemically alter her hair that's her choice and if she is happy with her decision then that's all that matters.

What makes matters worse is that now there is a divide within a divide (as you can see depicted in this chart). Within the natural community there are naturals who believe that a person isn't natural if she wears any extensions in her hair, if she straighten her hair too often or if she colors her hair. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I think its wrong for others to label each other as not truly natural. Instead of helping each other some of us are pushing each other away.

I do want to say it isn't the majority. Since I have become natural I feel as though I have entered some sort of society LOL. When I see other naturals walking down the street, there is always a smile, a connection. I am one of those naturals that like to stop a natural and compliment them. Its funny how something so seeminlgy simple tends to make a persons day and how forth coming these women can be with information.

At the end of the day you will be you and I will be me, but think to yourself is it really necessary to add another divide. Let break down those divides.

I have a task for me and anyone that's interested Compliment a stranger today, whether its their shoes, hair, nails, outfit whatever it maybe give a stranger a compliment, see what happens.

~Smoochez

Is Being Natural Expensive?

2009-07-02T23:50:00.000-04:00

I have seen this debate popping up a lot lately. Is being natural expensive? My take on the situation is Yes and No.

Yes, because if you have been accustomed to living a certain way (eating, working out etc), if you decide to adopt a new lifestyle its going to cost you "a lot" to get the "necessary" products to live accordingly. A lot is is quotation because in many (I said many, not all) cases people tend to throw everything out that does not "fit" into their lifestyle and then go shopping for new products and get a sticker shock. Many don't take into consideration that they have to look around for deals just as they would have before. Yes natural products can be a little more expensive at times, but the trade off is well worth it.

Now on the other side of the debate I said No it isn't expensive to live a natural lifestyle if one takes the necessary steps to make the transition a smooth one. Don't wake up tomorrow after you have just gone grocery shopping the day before and throw out all "unnatural" products, and buy new ones. Of course, natural products will seem more expensive because you are doing double duty. Paying Twice.

Living a natural life can be beneficial and cost effective. As far as hair products one does not have to buy all the higher end products and you can find products that are a little on the less expensive side. Also its not necessary to buy everything other naturals suggests. Find yourself a few staple products and take it slow.

So in the end if you want to live a natural life whether totally or just in the case of your hair (chemically free) take it one day at a time and know that the most expensive products may not be the best products for you.

BET AWARDS

2009-07-01T10:33:00.000-04:00

I wouldn't be me if I didn't speak out about that. I think it was a nice thought for BET to want to dedicate the show to Michael Jackson, but I think it would have been better if they would have just added a tribute at the end of the shoe because I walked away from that show a bit disappointed.

First I think that the skit between Taraji P. Henson and Tyrese was very cute, but Ving's contribution could have been left out. What in the word was he thinking comparing Michael Jackson to GUNS!!!

Beyonce's performance kind of left me and I think many other viewers Speechless....It was overly dramatic and to choose a classic and Christian song such as Ave Maria (translation Hail Mary) and sing it wearing a Teddy in my mind was totally inappropriate

Drake's performance was so over inappropriate, I don't care if you clanged the words. Everyone knew what the real words were and to have little girls dancing on stage to that song was just plain wrong.

On a Brighter note GUY, Tevin Campbell and BBD performing was such a great 90s throw back, made me want to put on some guess jeans and do the running man LOL!

I'm so excited to hear Maxwell is coming out with a new album. Can't wait till it drops.

Well that was the BET Awards wrap up in my eyes...

Introduction

2009-07-01T10:27:00.001-04:00

Hello,
My name is Tricia, I am DIVA (in my mind at least LOL) Anyhoo, I'm new to this Blogging thing. I think of it as an online Journal that someone may eventually read at some point. Anyway I always have an opinion and feel like voicing it. So stay tuned