Henna

I have been MIA for a while, I have had a lot going on, getting ready for the fall semester to start up. Any who I have been wanting to try henna for a while now. I have been researching this info for a while hennaforhair.com is a great site with great info.

Well I tried a simple mix of Water, Lime Juice and Honey. I left the Henna sit for about 5 hours. Then I just applied it to my hair. I'm going to leave it on over night. I'll see what happens. Have my fingers crossed.

I'll update tomorrow

Teaching Boys to be Men

As a parent I strive to do the best I can when it comes to raising my child. Give him an opportunity to be successful and reach for the stars. I want to be supportive, dependable and consistent in his life. Raising children can be difficult but in my opinion its a wonderful experience. I say difficult because you know every decision you make effects your children and you want to do the best possible job.

I feel that in the African American community people put so much pressure on little boys about being men. We want our boys to not be "weak", by showing emotion, we put more focus and attention in protecting the females and leave the boys with the mentality they should be able to figure out life on their own. I have seen many occasions where parents have enforced school and education on their daughters and have not done the same with their sons. I think if we are to blame the plight of the Black man on anyone, we should first look at the parents and the community. We don't put emphasis on boys, we don't cater to them like we do our girls. We don't take the extra time needed to help them in school. But I do notice that when boys play sports that's when they get the most attention as opposed to when they do well in school. We expect our boys to fend for themselves and learn to be men but no one wants to teach them HOW to be men.

I bring this fact up because I have a 14 month old boy, he is very affectionate. His father and I are affectionate towards him, we try to teach him to be kind to others. Although he's 14 months old hes beginning to understand. The other day I took my son to the park like I usually do. There was little girl at the park of another race with her mother. My son walked up to the little girl, I instinctively jumped up because I know some parents are not comfortable with other children around their kids especially ones they do not know. The mother looked at me and was like Oh no hes fine, so my son proceeded to point to her eyes and say I,I,I (it sounds just like that lol) I smiled and reassured him he was right those were her eyes. He pointed to her mouth and say BA BA (the sound you make when you kiss lol) and I smiled next he leaned over and hugged her. I noticed that as my son leaned in to hug the little girl her mother grabbed at the back of his shirt.
Now I didn't want to make a scene, I just said Hug to reassure my son he hadn't done anything wrong. I grabbed him and proceeded to take him to the other side of the park.
I try not to let people (ignorant people) upset my mood. Did she really think my son would hurt her child after he had been so nice and gentle? He had reached for the little girls hands. He's an only child and loves interacting with other children. I wonder if the stereotype of black man being mean, stoic and aggressive has trickled all the way down to our babies????
I pray not because if this woman was afraid of my child that is 14 months old, how do other people in society feel? Is this the reason why so many of our youth are failing in schools because teachers are afraid of them?
So I am asking parents out there to evaluate how we are raising our young men, are we giving them that little bit of extra attention they need, are we teaching them to be strong men, are we teaching them that its OK to be affectionate and its necessary to gentlemen?


So what do you think?

I'll give my 2 cents

Ok, Everywhere you turn someone is discussing the Gates situation. You cannot run from this topic so I'll give my two cents. I can see both sides of this story. Before I get stones thrown at me, allow me to explain. Henry Louis Gates is a Harvard professor and I guess in his mind due to his position and socioeconomic status he feels that he should be exempt from certain situations. I understand that Yes, he did have ID and that he presented to the officer, but you have to also understand that the officer was called he didn't just ride down the street and decide to profile him, he was doing his job. Now here's a possibility, there are many people who don't immediately change their IDs after they move from their homes so Gates could still have been trespassing. Also what if Gates had a domestic charge filed on him for assaulting his wife and he was in violation of a restraining order? So the officer asking him to step out would have been justified. I am not saying that either of these two scenarios were what the officer was considering but if he was thinking this he acted correctly. From what I have heard the office did request backup and in my mind he seemed to have every intention of arresting Gates, which I would consider quite excessive. Now Gates I understand his frustration, he felt that a man of his stature should not have been subject to this treatment. Unfortunately this is the case in the world we live in and I guarantee that if Gates was an "average" 60 something year-old man who worked in a steel mill this story would not have gotten this much publicity. We as African Americans strive to become successful, put ourselves in another bracket so we wont be judged like "other" Black people but the sad truth is we are still seen to many as just a threatening Black person.

I'll give you an example I know of an incident that occurred with an African American judge (I wont reveal the name or location of the judge) who was having a discussion with his wife in their home a neighbor heard them and "mistook" the situation as the judge beating his wife so the police were called to the residence. Now the officers arrived and the judge told them that there was no reason for the visit he told him that his wife and him were just having a discussion the police insisted on asking the judge to step outside of his home repeatedly. The judge decide that he didn't deserve to be spoken to in this manor and slammed the door in the officers face. Now this incident could have went in many different direction but it didn't. The judge was treated like any "average " black person. At the end of the day yes it sucks that we are treated like this and I wish it weren't the case but it is. It would have been better if Gates did as the officer requested and filed a complaint later if he felt that he was treated unfairly. Colin Powell stated that he himself has been profiled and he believes that Gates could have handled the situation differently.

So what do you think would have been the best way for this situation to be handled?

Black In America 2

Been MIA for a second, I've had a lot on my mind as of late. One of the biggest things is revamping my lifestyle. I want to become more active....I'll elaborate further later.

Back to the topic at hand, I have been waiting to see Black In America 2 It was interesting to see all the different programs that are being offered to the Black Community and yet it was evident to see that we are lacking in some aspects but we are slowly but surely making a change.

I have such a high level of respect for the Principal of Capital Prep School he has shown an extreme dedication that I wish more schools would demonstrate. Seeing him inspired me to want to do better in my own academic career. I wish there were more teachers, counselors, mentors and principals like this Principal. So many of our youth especially young men would be headed in a better direction earlier instead of later in life. I went to a HBCU for 2 years and it was great to see all the potential in those classrooms but what was sad was seeing the female to male ratio in these classes.

Overall I loved the presentation it was inspiring, I loved to see my community being uplifted, I loved to see all the successful and up and coming people.

To Run or Not To Run

For as long as I can think I have envied runners. Their freedom, how they grace through the streets without a care just focused on the pit, pat, pit, pat of their running shoes, oblivious to what the rest of the world is going through. I long to be among them to be able to have that peaceful glow. That look of accomplishment after they have reached a new record. So as I sit here I am contemplating becoming a runner. But being the nerd that I am researching the best methods to become a runner and stay a runner. One place I can say thus far that has provided me with great info and a great plan on achieving my goal is Runnersworld.com.

I am excited on embarking on a new journey. I think once I get a hoold on some running, I'll incorporate Yoga in my routine, because I am in desperate need of meditation.

Healthier Me

I've been absent for a bit, just trying to reflect on some life decisions. Wondering which path to take. I have been focused on school/career options, family needs, finances and my hair. But what I am lacking on is fitness. In the beginning of this year I had been quite active. I had even started jogging and working out 3-4 times a week. I felt great endorphins were on high. I love the 30 Day Shred By Jillian Michael I loved it she knows how to really work you out. But we all know what happens. Life gets in the way. I was forced into an unexpected move and trying to get adjusted, my 1 year-old was trying to get adjusted to a new environment and hubby finding a job and me having to transfer schools. My health was placed on the backburner.
So wiht life starting to finally settle down I am in desperate need of a routine. The Taurus in me is dying for some structured schedule. I have OCD (I swear I do), and I need everything to be on a schedule so that I know whats suppose to happen when and it helps my son as well...
But anywho...I'm moving on to being just a tad bit selfish...Getting ME on track.

Diamond...

Well for those that don't know I call my hair Diamond. She has a mind of her own. LOL. So recently I had taken out my extensions with the mission to reacquaint myself with Diamond. Since I decided to go natural I have pretty much hid her away, she was on what I call Twist Arrest. LOL.

Well the pass few days I have been going to stores looking at different products, going online and have been in heavy research mode.
I tried a coconut/olive hot oil treatment. It was okay. I left it in overnight. I may try this again.


Now the GREAT!!! part:


* I purchase Roux Porosity Control Corrector & Conditioner, its suppose to restore the pH level in your hair. Its recommended to be used prior to a chemical process. I decided to use it just because I felt that I kept adding moisturizers to my hair and kept ending up with dry hair so I felt I needed to restore my hairs pH level. When rinsing this out of your hair you can already feel a great difference.


* Then I shampooed with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration my hair was a little on the dry side even though this is suppose to be a moisturizing shampoo but it tends to still be a little drying. I think I may tweak this or just switch it up to Whole Foods 365 or Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose since I can't seem to find the Cream of Nature original formula anywhere.


* Next I went back to my staple line Aussie Moist (love, love, love) 3 Minute Miracle, left it in as instructed then rinsed warm and finished off with a cold water rinse to seal and add a little shine.


* Then back to the staple again Aussie Moist Conditioner, I used about a quarter sized amount of conditioner on soaking wet hair raked it through my hair (I forgot to mention I used my CVS denman to do de-tangle)


* Finally I got a good sized amount of Eco Styler Krystal Styling Gel and raked it through, making sure I reached every inch of my hair. My hair just started defining (clumping), the gel gave my hair the necessary weight to define and my hair wasn't really hard.


My hair came out great I was so excited. Today was the first day I really LOVED Diamond, for the first time in a long time I was really happy that I made the decision to be natural

Shea Butter

Well I was doing research on Shea Butter because since I have been using it for over a 1 year and a half and I loving it I just wanted to know more. What I find quite interesting is that there is actually an institute for Shea Butter called American Shea Butter Institute http://sheainstitute.com/.

Now some background history Shea Butter can vary in color from slightly yellowish to an ivory almost white color. The most popular type of Shea Butter is the type derived from West Africa. Shea has many benefits that range from moisturizing skin and hair to treating different skin ailments to also being used as a anti-inflammatory. My family and I use it on a daily basis, My hubby has severe dry skin and the only thing that has seemed to work for him has been Shea butter, my son who 14 months old I use it in his hair. Sometimes I add a little water and use the Shea to seal in the moisture/moisturizer. I used on my stomach while pregnant and I use it in my hair. She butter is quite beneficial and I have noticed more and products adding Shea and opting not to use Cocoa Butter which was once considered quite a staple for a lot of products. I tend to purchase my Shea from the African vendors and there are a few BSS (beauty supply stores) that have Shea.

I'd recommend to anyone to give Shea butter a try, you may not like it in your hair, but you just may like it on your skin.

~Smoochez

Aussie Moist

Hello,
OK today I took down my twist extensions. I washed my hair with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration (HEHH) shampoo and then I conditioned with Aussie Moist conditioner (I absolutely love this).
I decided to try the Aussie Deeeep 3 Minute Miracle, my hair felt great. (Target for under $4). I left it in for about 5 minutes. So after rinsing out my hair still felt pretty nice. I wanted to attempt a twist out. So on wet hair I added Aussie Moist Conditioner and de-tangled with my CVS version Denman brush and my hair felt nice. I am waiting to untwist my hair tomorrow morning but to be honest I don't like how my hair feels. The back feels soft but my hair looks dull and dry. I guess I'm still working on my combination of products. Maybe I should have sealed my ends with Shea Butter, but I was in a rush. If you are in need for a good moisturizer Aussie definitely delivers a good punch. I use the AMC for my occasional co-washes (conditioner washes) even while in extensions
Well I'm back to the drawing Boards. But Aussie Conditioners are keepers for now.

Something New

Ok...I'm blogging on my blackberry, guess there's a first time for everything. LOL. Its Friday night the night before the 4th of July and I can't wait to take my son to the zoo tomorrow. Its his first trip, so I'm charging up the rechargable batteries for the digital camera.
Anywho, I'm going off on a tangent. I just watched the movie Something New starring Sanaa Lathan. I love that movie, hadn't seen it in a while and it left me grinning from ear to ear. Its amazing how much we as african americans put so much pressure on one another. I love the fact Sanaa decided to ditch the weave.
Her relationship with "Brian" filled that void she was feeling. Gave her laughter and allowed her to let go of inhibitions. I think that's a great example of how many naturals view their relationships with their hair. At least that's how I feel about my hair (maybe I should giver her a name...Diamond) well my relationship with Diamond is definetly Something New. I love her and I feel free when I'm with her and only her no extras added. We're a force to be reckoned with.

My Natural Hair

Natural, Natural, Natural it seems that everywhere you turn you hear those words being uttered. Merriam-Webster has approximately 15 variations of the definition for Natural I chose my favorite of these: living in or as if in a state of nature untouched by the influences of civilization and society.

This definition was interesting because it dealt with influence of civilization and society. In the African American community there are many issues that tend to divide us, issues that seem to affect mainly our race (don't get me wrong there are other races/countries that have their own issues of division) complexion issues, hair issues, class issues and the list goes on. I'm touching on one issue and that's hair issues.

I am completely natural (chemically free), this is my second time going natural the first time was 5 years ago and I got fed up and frustrated and decided to return to relaxing my hair so that it could be more "manageable" Now I have noticed on my natural journey there seems to be a divide among natural haired women and chemically relaxed/texturized women (not among them all). There are some Natural haired women who feel that woman who chemically alter their hair suffer from an identity crisis and these women are trying to live up to European ideas of beauty. Some of these natural women have been quite belligerent at times. In my opinion if a women decides to chemically alter her hair that's her choice and if she is happy with her decision then that's all that matters.

What makes matters worse is that now there is a divide within a divide (as you can see depicted in this chart). Within the natural community there are naturals who believe that a person isn't natural if she wears any extensions in her hair, if she straighten her hair too often or if she colors her hair. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I think its wrong for others to label each other as not truly natural. Instead of helping each other some of us are pushing each other away.

I do want to say it isn't the majority. Since I have become natural I feel as though I have entered some sort of society LOL. When I see other naturals walking down the street, there is always a smile, a connection. I am one of those naturals that like to stop a natural and compliment them. Its funny how something so seeminlgy simple tends to make a persons day and how forth coming these women can be with information.

At the end of the day you will be you and I will be me, but think to yourself is it really necessary to add another divide. Let break down those divides.

I have a task for me and anyone that's interested Compliment a stranger today, whether its their shoes, hair, nails, outfit whatever it maybe give a stranger a compliment, see what happens.

~Smoochez

Is Being Natural Expensive?

I have seen this debate popping up a lot lately. Is being natural expensive? My take on the situation is Yes and No.

Yes, because if you have been accustomed to living a certain way (eating, working out etc), if you decide to adopt a new lifestyle its going to cost you "a lot" to get the "necessary" products to live accordingly. A lot is is quotation because in many (I said many, not all) cases people tend to throw everything out that does not "fit" into their lifestyle and then go shopping for new products and get a sticker shock. Many don't take into consideration that they have to look around for deals just as they would have before. Yes natural products can be a little more expensive at times, but the trade off is well worth it.

Now on the other side of the debate I said No it isn't expensive to live a natural lifestyle if one takes the necessary steps to make the transition a smooth one. Don't wake up tomorrow after you have just gone grocery shopping the day before and throw out all "unnatural" products, and buy new ones. Of course, natural products will seem more expensive because you are doing double duty. Paying Twice.

Living a natural life can be beneficial and cost effective. As far as hair products one does not have to buy all the higher end products and you can find products that are a little on the less expensive side. Also its not necessary to buy everything other naturals suggests. Find yourself a few staple products and take it slow.

So in the end if you want to live a natural life whether totally or just in the case of your hair (chemically free) take it one day at a time and know that the most expensive products may not be the best products for you.

BET AWARDS

I wouldn't be me if I didn't speak out about that. I think it was a nice thought for BET to want to dedicate the show to Michael Jackson, but I think it would have been better if they would have just added a tribute at the end of the shoe because I walked away from that show a bit disappointed.

First I think that the skit between Taraji P. Henson and Tyrese was very cute, but Ving's contribution could have been left out. What in the word was he thinking comparing Michael Jackson to GUNS!!!

Beyonce's performance kind of left me and I think many other viewers Speechless....It was overly dramatic and to choose a classic and Christian song such as Ave Maria (translation Hail Mary) and sing it wearing a Teddy in my mind was totally inappropriate

Drake's performance was so over inappropriate, I don't care if you clanged the words. Everyone knew what the real words were and to have little girls dancing on stage to that song was just plain wrong.

On a Brighter note GUY, Tevin Campbell and BBD performing was such a great 90s throw back, made me want to put on some guess jeans and do the running man LOL!

I'm so excited to hear Maxwell is coming out with a new album. Can't wait till it drops.

Well that was the BET Awards wrap up in my eyes...

Introduction

Hello,
My name is Tricia, I am DIVA (in my mind at least LOL) Anyhoo, I'm new to this Blogging thing. I think of it as an online Journal that someone may eventually read at some point. Anyway I always have an opinion and feel like voicing it. So stay tuned